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August 1, 2020 by Anna Leave a Comment

Self Care Made Simple

Self Care Made Simple

Self care made simple…I created a simple and easy self care acronym to help in thinking about all the different aspects to self care.

RESPPP – Self Care Acronym

R – Relationship Self Care

E – Emotional Self Care

S – Spiritual Self Care

P – Psychological Self Care

P – Physical Self Care

P – Professional Self Care

Relationship Self Care

Relationship self care is focused around your relationships. Your intimate relationship – whether you are married, coupled, dating…there are many aspects to the caring of yourself and the one you love.

This also includes relationships you have with family members. With friends. Co-workers…

Do you have relationships that are nourishing, supportive and caring? Or, have some of your relationships met their season in your life and it’s time to let go in love? Are there boundaries that are needed? Or, are there boundaries that might need to be revised?

These are some important questions as it relates to your relationship health.

Emotional Self Care

Emotional self care is centered around your emotional health. Your feelings and emotional life within you.

Many times our emotions are tied to thoughts we have that impact our state. And when we are in a reactive state – meaning we are reacting to stressors, to triggers, to others – rather than taking time to pause, reflect, decide how we want to respond – we are often being led by emotions that have certain thoughts attached that then lead us to react in certain behavioral ways.

When we take time to become curious about our emotional world, we can learn a lot about ourself. Emotions can be one of our greatest teachers.

Spiritual Self Care

Nurturing and taking time to build your spiritual practice is another important aspect to our overall health and wellness. Knowing where you are on your spiritual journey can provide insight into how you can turn toward this part of your life and see what is needed.

Is it balanced? Do you need support? Community? Prayer? Meditation? Beginning to quiet the outside world to begin looking within to see what your spiritual health needs are is an integral part of your spiritual self care.

Psychological Self Care

Taking care of what you nourish your mind with…what books you are reading. What messages are presented through podcasts, friends, family, news shows, movies, etc.

This also includes looking at what hobbies interest you. Are there things you want to learn how to do? Musical instruments you want to learn how to play? The list is endless on the different ways you can begin to become curious as to what your psychological health yearns for…

Physical Self Care

This is what people typically talk to me about when they talk about self care. Physical self care.

This includes exercising, what you consume nutritionally…but it also includes going to the doctor when needed, scheduling well checks, dental visits, etc.

Professional Self Care 

Staying current in your profession is a key component to self care. But also knowing what boundaries you need around your professional needs.

What do you need to say no so that you can better care for yourself – and say yes to the things that are better suited for you.

What do you need to say yes to so that you can nourish and care for yourself.

Are there professional communities you can get involved with. Or, are you too involved with so many professional groups that maybe slowing down might be a part of your professional self care needs.

Taking One Step At A Time

Self care is personal and unique to each of us. And what I think is so special about these 6 aspects to our self care is that helps us organize our thoughts around our self care. And it can help us see how it’s all interconnected! One of these is tied to all of these…

Lastly, this is not about perfectionism. This is about knowing what you need in this moment. Which might be different tomorrow and the next day. It’s about starting a practice of self reflection and turning inward to see you need. Not what everyone else needs – but what you need!

Putting your oxygen mask on first – so to speak – so you can then be the you – you want to be – with all of the precious people in your life!

Self Care Support and Coaching

If you need help and support, please reach out. I offer a limited number of one-on-one coaching directly with me and I’d love to hear from you. If you are wanting support, don’t wait any longer. Reach out today…

 

 

Filed Under: Self Care Tagged With: boundaries, Coaching, Life coaching, relationship care, relationship health, self care, self care rituals

July 23, 2020 by Anna Leave a Comment

Thank you to All First Responders and Health Care Workers

Thank you!

With the recent surge in COVID 19 and the upcoming school year there is so much concern, fear and anxiety many are feeling. And, I wanted to take a moment to honor all that everyone is doing to help flatten the curve.

This is in no particular order…

But first, thank you to YOU! Anyone that is reading this and is doing their part each day to stay home as best they can, social distance, wear a face mask, wash hands…thank you for doing all you can to help flatten the curve of COVID 19 cases.

And thank you to all Health Care Workers and First Responders

In full disclosure, my husband is a firefighter, and each time he goes into work I am inspired by his courage and bravery as well as all of his firefighting brothers and sisters. Thank you to all First Responders for your courage and bravery each and every day!

Thank you to all Health Care Providers out there each day helping people impacted by COVID 19. There are so many sacrifices that are unseen that so many are making each day as they leave their families to care for those who need them.

I was watching an interview recently with a doctor and she was talking about how some of the doctors she works with at the hospital aren’t going back to their homes while they are treating patients. Instead they are staying away from their families to try and protect them.

Amazing sacrifices so many are making.

Thank you to all Delivery! To all those that bring mail to people each and every day. To all that bring packages to front doors, that deliver groceries from stores…thank you!

Thank you to all Grocery Stores! Thank you for providing food to communities…

Thank you to all Therapists! I think therapists and counselors fall into the category of an important and significant responder. You are on the front lines of providing mental health and support to so many that may be feeling isolated, feeling anxious, depressed. For all that are grieving…

Thank you to all Educators, School Administrators, School Workers, Parents, and all work each day to help keep schools and children healthy! Thank you for your daily sacrifices and for all you do to help educate our most precious!

Thank you to anyone I may I have missed in this blog…thank you!

Filed Under: Self Care Tagged With: Coaching, Gratitude, help with relationships, Life coaching, mindset coaching, personal growth, positive mindset, self care

October 25, 2019 by Anna Leave a Comment

Self Care and Letting Go

Self Care & Letting Go What does it Mean to YOU?

What does letting go mean to you? Do you have self care rituals around the act of letting go?

For some, letting go might mean, let bygones be bygones, don’t let it bother you anymore. For others it might mean releasing held disappointments, anger, hurt, etc, so that you can live a more peaceful life.

For me, and for the purpose of this article, it means letting go of being reactionary when stuck in a trigger cycle. Letting go of old thought and behavior patterns that no longer serve me. That are not me. That are not true.

I’m also talking about letting go in terms of how you might harshly or critically judge/view/blame yourself. And the self care needed to continuously care and nurture yourself during these times.

My Own Journey of Self Care & Letting Go

Let me put this more into context of why I’m writing about this today and my hope that it may inspire you.

Recently, and many times before this recent event, there have been certain triggers in my life that are repeatable themes. And when triggered within me, I tend to go down a spiral of self blame, guilt, defensiveness or argumentativeness…

But, I recently experienced the blessing and gift of clarity. And it’s been huge for me. I will say, it’s not without its struggle, pain, and hurt. It’s also not without feeling of grief of loss in addition to feelings of aloneness and isolation. But, the letting go that was and is so desperately needed and the clarity provided has been essential for my healing. For my self care. For my self care and letting go of what doesn’t serve me. Letting go of what doesn’t allow me to grow. To give myself permission to be the best version of me.

As I am writing this, I want to take a minute to say a little about these repeatable triggers that I’ve identified and continuously working on. While simultaneously gaining more and more self compassion and empathy for the parts of me that need my nurturing and care.

What I came to realize recently is a dynamic (while some of the variables may have changed) where the main storyline is the exact same as it has been for a very long time. A. very. long. time.

But, I was getting caught up in the new variables, getting caught up in the new content. What I mean here is…when I started feeling the trigger within me, I didn’t react. I stayed still. I breathed. I let “it” engulf me. Then “it” being fear/anxiety. All this was quite quick. The uprising of the fear/anxiety happens pretty quickly for me in these specific trigger events. But, as quick as it came this time, I dissipated. I allowed it to rise up, to feel it and then it lessened. That’s when I had a moment to distance myself from it, and to learn more about it. To learn what it needs from me. What care it needs from me. Then I realized…I have choice!

Choice!

Such a beautiful thing. But still…it’s not without its own suffering which is where self care and letting go rituals come into play. And are so very important! I had to learn (and still am learning) how to grieve the grieving parts.

Triggers that Now Have Different Meaning

In the not too far away past, when these triggers would come up within me, I would often go down a road of judging myself. Finding fault in what I’m doing or not doing. Feeling compelled to do and say things to please others at the expense of me. At the expense of these vulnerable parts within me that needed care and I was looking in all the wrong places for someone else to provide that care. And in those trigger moments, when I reacted based on a trigger, I was so far away from caring for myself, so far away from my own self care and the impact was definitely felt internally by me.

The impact would linger in me for a bit. It would usually take the form of bodily sensations along with accompanying thoughts. This used to last a week or two, until it started to change to a couple of days, then one day, then one hour. This was and has been huge! The trigger no longer had a long controlling grip on me, I could respond internally to myself. I could care for myself in those moments.

Now when these triggers spark a hidden anxiety within me, I have learned to turn toward “it.” The “it” being “me!” I have learned not to react outwardly. Not to disown and abandon myself in those moments by responding to others or giving in to manipulation and control maneuvers. I have learned to turn toward me and provide the comfort and nurturing I need during those trigger moments so that those hidden anxiety parts within me are actually seen, known, understood and felt by me.

The letting go part, for me, is about letting go of the reactionary jump to do something, to react, to please someone else, etc. I have learned through continued practice of self care, empathy and compassion that I can let go to what doesn’t serve me and turn inward toward what does…

For you…

My hope for you if you’re still reading this…is that you too identify what self care and letting go rituals are necessary for you to begin or continue your journey toward being the best you, you can be. To shine your light even brighter…

One thing that can help…

For me, clarity came in a few different ways. I’m a big “in my head” person. I like to think through things. Analyze things. Research things. Become curious about things. But, sometimes, I can get stuck in this. I can get stuck in all the swirling around in my head. The contradictory thoughts. The it’s all my fault, I must be wrong spirals…then, one day while in this trigger event, I got a piece of paper and started writing.

Just scribbling down all the thoughts I was having around this certain trigger and certain repeated/familar events. And when I was done (I honestly never even went back to read it) – although if going back and reading it is helpful to you then please do. But for me, I just needed to get it out of my body. To get it out of my head which then released it’s grip in my nervous system. Allowing my body and mind to relax, be joyous, and focus on what brings me peace, comfort, joy and nurturing. It was a true epiphany for me.

Maybe it can be for…if you’re struggling with thoughts around events in your life, circumstances beyond your control, triggers that are popping up…you might consider writing about it.

It doesn’t have to be fancy. It doesn’t have to be structured. Just write. That’s it. Just write.

I have many through coaching create the life they want. If you’d like additional help and want coaching around this so that you can live your best life, please reach out to me today.

 

Filed Under: Self Care Overview Tagged With: Coaching, dysfunctional relationships, family systems, grief and loss, Letting go of negative influences, mindset coaching, self care, self love

October 10, 2019 by Anna Leave a Comment

Setting Personal Goals

Personal Realization of the Benefit of Setting Personal Goals

I wanted to write today about setting goals that are more personal. That are focused not on your practice building but on your self care. On things that make you, YOU. On things that inspire you. Things you’ve always wanted to do.

What I Realized That Was Huge For Me (In Many Different Ways)

For a long while throughout my life, I tended to focus outside of myself. And as a result, I would end up saying yes to things I didn’t want to do. Or, I wouldn’t say yes or no, I would just stay stuck. Then one day I was on a trip (that I honestly didn’t really want to be on but felt obligated). And while on this trip, many things happened that validated all the reasons why I didn’t want to go in the first place. (Has this ever happened to you?)

My norm during these situations was that I would just take it so to speak. Feel like I didn’t have a choice in the matter. That I had to be there to please others and that was the way it was. Until I woke up. Until I pushed myself past the exhaustion I felt – emotional exhaustion that was creating physical tiredness in me – until I pushed myself past this moment of emotional/physical drain and took a step and did something I had been wanting to do. Something that was just for me. And I did. I left that environment and did what I had been wanting to do, a goal I had set in my head, for some time but never did until then.

And when I accomplished this, I felt so good! All of the stressors were still there but I felt different. Inside of me felt different. I wasn’t controlled by outside circumstances. And when I left that trip, I didn’t just have tales of all of the stress that happened. It was actually the total opposite. I didn’t really have a need to focus on all of the things I couldn’t control. All of the negative things that were weighing me down. I actually just felt really good and that’s what I focused on when I left the trip. It really made a huge impact on me.

This is what I want to offer you. What goals do you have that bring you closer to you? That inspire you. That stretch you. That maybe you aren’t the greatest at but the fact that you tried it makes you feel like a rock star.

Spend some time creating these sides of you. I know first hand how it can be just starting out in your profession or starting out in your life as a parent. There’s so much to experience, so much to learn…and there are more parts of you too…more parts of you that make up the whole you! Spend time setting some goals to nurture those parts too.

 

Filed Under: Self Care Overview Tagged With: Coaching, living your best life, mindset coaching, Perfectionism, personal development, personal growth, self care, setting goals, vision planning

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Anna McElearney



(512) 550-7918
anna@selfcaretodaytomorrow.com

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anna@selfcaretodaytomorrow.com

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